Friday, February 13, 2009

All I need to know about LOVE

...I learned from the movies.

THE ONE

There is only ONE person out there for you. This person is your soulmate. You will feel empty and unsatisfied with your life until you find this person. Once you find them you will be complete.

The only time you get a chance for a second soulmate is if you are parted from the first one tragically, like through death. If your soulmate happens to donate their heart to someone, look for this person, as that heart will keep beating for you alone in the body of your new soulmate.

NOT THE ONE

Sometimes you may think you have found your soulmate, only to realize that you were wrong. Don't despair. Your chances for finding the one increase dramatically when you are with someone who is not the one. Your odds of meeting your soulmate are even greater if you are engaged to the wrong person. So don't hesitate to move things along with someone who is wrong for you. They don't have to be a bad person, by the way, just someone who is not your match.

Look for someone who is kind but boring; a person like this won't even mind when they find out they are not your soulmate. Probably they will have suspected this deep inside all along, anyway. Don't feel too bad for them -- they are bound to find their one after you throw them over.

So go ahead and date that wrong person. Plan a wedding, even show up for the ceremony. The later it takes for your soulmate to show up, the more dramatic your coming together will be. And drama, as we all know, is what love is all about. Who wants a life of calm contentment and security?

LIES

There's probably something you're afraid to reveal to your soulmate because you're worried they will reject you. Lying is the way to go here. Be it your background, finances, family, children, whatever, go ahead and hide the facts from your soulmate. Wait until they are so in love with you that they won't be able to leave no matter what they learn about you.

Of course, don't be surprised if your soulmate has a secret as well. You'll find out once you are hooked. But by then it won't matter. How wise you both are!

HAPPY ENDINGS

Following all the above steps should get you to happily ever after status. Unless, of course, you are destined to have one of those tragic endings that are so moving. In that case, remember that it's better to have loved and lost... and eventually you might just find your replacement love. (Hint: make sure to find out if your soulmate has checked that organ donor box on their driver's license.)

What have you learned about love from the movies?

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